The Greatest Love Story

The past few months I have gone through quite the power struggle with God. With so much rejection, confusion, and uncertainty that I have faced this past semester, my ability to put my trust in the Lord and in his timeline for me has been an uphill climb. I want so badly to do his will, but if I am being totally honest I would like to know what his will for me IS exactly even more than that. Promising to do his will without knowing exactly what that could entail is frightening! What if I must fail? What if it hurts me or someone that I love? What if?????? I have been struggling with this all semester and have been really very frustrated with the fact that Heavenly Father is not telling me all the details of my future and what I need to do to get there and what decisions I need to make. But what I have realized is (and to quote Jon Bellion in his song "Maybe IDK") that God would not be God if I knew all of his plans. When it really comes down to it Heavenly Father loves us SO much and all that he wants for us is to be happy. His WILL is our happiness. So even if it hurts, it brings pain or tears, or it shakes our faith a bit, it is for a reason! And that reason is to lead us to a happier, more wonderful, joy filled life filled with His love and the light of our Savior Jesus Christ.

1 Nephi 11:17 says, "And I said unto him:I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."

I don't know what I am doing right now in my life. I don't know where I am headed or what my future holds for me. And perhaps I won't know these things for a really long time. But I do know that God loves me. God loves me so much. More than I will ever love anyone else or than anyone else will ever love me. More than I can even comprehend. And I know that because He loves me, He is going to do all that He can, being the supreme all-powerful omnipotent being that He is, to steer me in the direction of happiness. As long as I put my trust and my faith and my whole heart and soul into loving him back the best that I can.

Power of Music

D&C 136:28 If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving.

 Music calms me down. It excites me, inspires me, and brings me to tears. It strengthens me. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a melody or set of lyrics that knows exactly what I am feeling. It gets me. Music is my best friend, my source of guidance, and my comforter. I know that regardless of the big bad trials that come huffing and puffing at my door, music will always be there for me, to build me up and to keep me standing strong against the winds of life. 

This is my testimony of the power of music. But if you take that first paragraph and replace “music” with “Christ”, it is also my testimony of the Savior. I am a firm believer that one of the strongest, most powerful ways that we can share the gift of Christ’s infinite love is through the majesty of music, and it is my deepest desire to be able to use the talents that I have been given to spread joy and bring others closer to the Savior.

I love this scripture so much because music plays such a vital and meaningful role in my life. I think that it is such a perfect way to connect with our Savior and show him our love and our gratitude for his atoning sacrifice and the gift that he has given us of eternal life.

But a Small Moment

D&C 121:7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

In this scripture, the Lord speaks peace to Joseph Smith's soul while he is suffering in jail in Liberty, Missouri. In this time, it would be so easy for Joseph to just cry "Why me? Why did all of this happen to me?". However the Lord reminds Joseph that these trials he is facing are just a small moment in the timeline of eternity. I think that this is such an important thing to remind ourselves each and everyday. Recently, in the past week I have had a lot of small trials that have seemed to add up and cause me a great deal of frustration. But by remembering to focus on the Lord these trials have become smaller and smaller. Life can be really, really hard. But by keeping an eternal perspective we can get through any trial that comes our way with a smile on our face and the light of Christ in our hearts.

Commit to the Lord

Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.
Especially at this time in my life, there are so many things I want to accomplish, goals I want to reach, and plans I want to make. It is so easy to get caught up in pride and to foolishly believe that I am capable of doing all of these things on my own. This scripture reminds me that all things are possible through Christ. It is so important for me to dedicate my life first and foremost to the Lord, and as I do that, He will help me to do all that I desire, if it is according to His will. I know in my heart that Jesus Christ suffered all the pains and the afflictions of the world to give us the spiritual strength and power to overcome and accomplish anything. Reading this scripture has really inspired me to align my desires with the Lord's.

Pray, He is there

In D&C 6:36 it says, "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not fear not". I have always viewed this scripture as more of a general statement to always keep God in our thoughts and in our actions. But as I worked on strengthening my personal prayers this week, it took on a deeper meaning for my own method of praying. I have always struggled with staying focused during prayers. I find myself beginning my prayer and then realizing 5 minutes later that my mind had wandered off into La La Land without even realizing it. Every night this week I began to write down an outline of what I wanted to cover in my prayer and keep it in front of me as a reference. This has really helped me to stay focused on the Lord in my prayers and give Heavenly Father the love and respect that he deserves as I approached my daily prayers fully prepared. 

So to me, this scriptures explains the importance of having a sincere prayer, and even though it can be easy to lose focus, if we keep our thoughts only on our Father in Heaven he will take away our fears and our doubts and bless us immensely.

Wonderful

2 Nephi 19:6


6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder; and his name shall be called, Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
One of my professors shared this scripture in class this past week and I have been thinking about it a lot. I really love all of the different titles that Jesus Christ can hold. Not only is he our Savior, but he is our counselor, our God, our friend, our example, and our comforter bringing forth peace. I think that it is a good reminder for us to think of Christ as not just one but all of these things, and that he is there to help us through anything that we may need. 
I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I will be eternally grateful for the atoning sacrifice that he made for me, specifically, so that I might be redeemed and forgiven of my sins, live with him and my Heavenly Father once again, and have eternal life.

Feed My Sheep

John 21:16
“He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.”
The Savior tells us that the best way for us to show him our love is to feed his sheep, or to serve others. I know that this is a divine and wonderful way that we can become closer to our Lord, and I also really strongly believe that we can become closer to those that we serve.
Someone once told me a story about a man talking to another man from India. The Indian man was explaining why they believe in arranged marriages. He said that they truly believe that the more that you serve a person over time, the more your love grows for them exponentially. I think that this is so true. Well, not necessarily the arranged marriage part, but about serving others. I think the more that we do our best to help and lift those around us, our relationships with them and our love for them will grow. And I think this is precisely what the Savior wants for us.

Endure all things

 Yesterday, I gave a talk on the thirteenth article of faith, which reads,

"13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

 In preparation for this talk I spent somewhere around 4 hours on Saturday reading, researching, pondering, and writing about this article of faith. It was a really wonderful experience because I really got to study it in depth and apply it to experiences in my own life. I have never gone on a mission, but I can't imagine how amazing it must be because just simply in attempting to teach other people about a certain topic and share my testimony with them, I have learned and grown so much! I love having the opportunity to speak in church because it really gives me the motivating opportunity to really dive into the scriptures. I really need to study like this a whole lot more because I think it would be such a beneficial experience.
In my talk, I spoke on the part that says "we hope all things, we have endured many things, and we hope to be able to endure all things". I spoke on hope and how Jesus Christ is our true source of hope and that hope is never lost. I also spoke about how trials are an essential part of our lives and that Heavenly Father has hand picked each one of them for our specific benefit. And in the end I talked about how enduring all things to the end means constantly coming unto christ and becoming perfected in him.

Who Shall Separate Us?

I truly believe that Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need to hear and that he uses other people to help give us precisely that. Once again, this week Heavenly Father used the people around me to show his love for me. My visiting teachers came over yesterday and shared with me this scripture:

Romans 8:35, 38-39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This is one of the most beautiful scriptures I have ever read. Recently, I have been pleading with the Lord to help me feel his love for me. I think that this scripture shows, in the most eloquent way, precisely how strong the bond between Christ and us really is. And what holds that bond so tightly together is his true and everlasting love for us and the gift of the atonement. 

Why do you keep me so far away?

This week I bought a book from Deseret Book Store called Let God Love You: Why We Don't and How We Can. As I have been reading it this week it has really started to affect the way that I think about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. In the book, the author talks about an experience that she had where she heard the spirit clearly ask the words, "Why do you keep me so far away?" several times. When she was finally willing to put herself in a vulnerable position and let Heavenly Father close to her, she felt his arms wrapped around her. I have been constantly thinking about the words of that piercing question all week - in the shower, as I am driving around town, while I am walking to my classes, etc. - and it has really been made apparent to me that it is us who keep Heavenly Father so far away. He is simply waiting there with open arms, ready to embrace us and shower us with his love, and all we have to do is let him.

John 14:18 says,
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

This scripture is really special to me because it truly testifies to me that our Savior really knows our daily struggles and our emotions. He knows when we kick ourselves about missing a deadline, when we feel insecure about other's opinions of us, and when we just feel sad or scared about our future. He feels what we feel. And he is just waiting for us to take the gifts of comfort and peace and all consuming happiness that he has so graciously extended to us. He is just waiting for us to love him so He can shower us with oceans and oceans full of the love that he already feels for us. He will not leave us comfortless! We just need to be sure not to keep him so far away.

Nevertheless I Went Forth

1 Nephi 4:6-7
"6 An I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.
 7 Nevertheless I went forth.."

This month has brought a lot of confusion and uncertainty about many different aspects of my life and I have been feeling a little lost lately.
It is so very true that Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need to hear, and so in church this week the Sunday school lesson was on revelation. This was so perfect because I have been praying a lot recently about the direction that my life is supposed to be headed and whether or not I am on the right path. I know that answers from heaven can sometimes take a long time, but it gets frustrating at times not knowing what the Lord wants of me. In my class someone said "If we are wondering why Heavenly Father is being silent, perhaps it is not that he is silent but that we are just in a really really loud place". I think it has always been easy for me to get distracted with the business and the distractions of the world that I don't take enough time each day to sit in a quiet, undistracted place and listen to the spirit. Also, I need to be working on doing all that I can to follow the commandments and live my life the way that I should be so that when I do receive revelation I can have confidence that it was the spirit testifying to me and not just my own thoughts because they will be the same.
We talked a lot about Elder Bednar's analogy of the patterns of light in reference to revelation and I feel like what is going on in my life is very similar to the analogy of the foggy day. He is giving me just enough light to only take a few steps ahead.
It is important for me to be like Nephi, and to know, although I may not be able to see what my future is, that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. He is just waiting for me to trust in him and move forward with faith so that he can unleash a boatload of blessings that he has handpicked out of love.

Love Letters from God

God is so real.

He is all around me. In every drop of rain, every cotton candy sunset, and in every smile. His love can be felt in so many ways. And I know that he knows and loves me personally and answers each of my prayers. Most of the time, these prayers are answered by the burning of my bosom or a warm peace of mind. Although I am so grateful for this type of personal revelation, truthfully I have always thought it would be kinda cool if Heavenly Father could just shoot me a text, an email, a letter, (or heck I would even get a pager) that says, "NOPE YOUR'E GOING THE WRONG WAY" or "YOU GO GIRL! GREAT DECISION!" or something like that.

Well today I got one.

Today while I was eating my lunch at school, I looked up from my phone and a random stranger had left this note on my table with the sweetest message. I truly felt like it was a letter directly from Heavenly Father showing and expressing his love for me in written word! It was amazing and I immediately felt the spirit so strongly.

One of my missionary friends also sent me this scripture today:

D&C 84:88

And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

Heavenly Father is so mindful of me and my needs and from this scripture and this incredible experience that I had today I know that He is just searching for every possible way that he can show me how much he loves me. We always have a friend to rely on and someone to give us comfort. I will be eternally grateful for this and the joy and comfort that my Savior and my Heavenly Father have blessed me with. And I am so beyond grateful for this love letter from God.

Duty to God

This past week has felt really long. I think mostly because it is the first time since the 5th grade where my life has not been crazy busy. Going to school part time and still on the hunt for a job has given me a great deal of time and it has been difficult to feel accomplished or like I am progressing towards something.

In my scripture study this week, I came across Alma 7:22-23. It says:

22 And now my beloved brethren, I have said these things unto you that i might awaken you to a sense of your duty to God, that ye may walk blameless before him, that ye may walk after the holy order of God, after which ye have been received.
23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.'

This scripture really reminded me of my duty to Heavenly Father. Though it may seem like I have a lot of free time on my hands, there are so many things that I must do to improve myself and to please my father in heaven. It is really important for me to use this time to strengthen my testimony as well as my relationship with my Savior. I am going to do all that I can to better myself by going to the temple more, studying my scriptures and praying as much as I can, and serving those around me.

I Will Lead You Along

          The start of this new year has already brought a great deal of changes. Back in December, when I was rejected from the major that I wanted to pursue, I had to reevaluate a lot of my passions, desires, and goals for the future. The first few days back at school were really tough as I switched my major multiple times, causing issues with my schedule and prerequisite classes. One of the biggest issues that I ran into as I talked on the phone, met with, and emailed countless advisors was that I had too many credits and that BYU has a strict set number of credits that a student must have in order to apply for certain majors. When I finally decided on an obtainable major to apply to, I needed to make a very important decision of whether or not to go to school as a part time student and save credits or to continue as a full time student. I had been very confused and uneasy about what I should do so I began to pray about it countless times a day. Because of recent events, I felt at times like I did not have a place in the world and was really struggling during this confusing time. I studied my situation out in my mind and wrote out the pros and cons and then took it to the Lord. On Thursday, I went to the temple. As I sat in the temple, I began to plead with Heavenly Father to grant me with guidance and to find comfort and peace in knowing that He has a specific plan for me although I cannot see it right now. I decided to open the scriptures to a random page and see if I could find any comfort. When I did this, I found Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-18,

"17 Verily, Verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own  hands and prepared for you;
18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."

         I was immediately overwhelmed with joy and peace. My Heavenly Father knows me, He knows what I have been through and exactly where I am going. And if I am just patient and trust in the Lord, He is just waiting to grant me with blessings that he has handcrafted specifically for me. Life does not always go the way we have planned, in fact, it usually never does. But that is because Heavenly Father has far greater plans for our future then we can ever imagine. And if we only let him, he will lead us along.